What is the Sikh view on having Girlfriends and Boyfriends relations?
ਪਰ ਤ੍ਰਿਅ ਰੂਪੁ ਨ ਪੇਖੈ ਨੇਤ੍ਰ ॥
“With your eyes, do not even gaze (in a lustful manner) upon the beauty of another.”
(Sukhmani Sahib, Ang 274)
Creating such relationships is very immoral and immodest thing to do. Perhaps, we see no shame in these things, it is the age of Kal (darkness) we are standing on one leg.
These types of relationships can cause great injury to our personal life and most of all our spiritual life, which we should all be aspiring to improve everyday. One may think that they are committed enough in this relationship, but one is only committed when they are committed to Naam, then everything will shine out and you will be able to discern right from wrong.
Read the lives of Gursikhs from the olden days, none had a love marriage. Our Guru Saahibaan all had ‘arranged marriage’ (if that’s how you want to put it). A householders life (Gristhee Jeevan) is a very big thing and was encouraged by our Gurus. It will improve our Sangat and Amrit-velaa. However, leave this all to your parents. Our parents know us much better than we know ourselves! Of course we will shudder to agree with this statement though. Once a very inquisitive lady asked me, ‘are you having an arranged marriage?’, I said ‘Yes, I will leave it to my parents to decide’. She replied, ‘It is a good thing, I’m on my second husband, things still aren’t going well and I picked them both myself.’ This is not to say that ALL love marriages are wrong, the only true love marriage is to Waheguru. This is the avasthaa of Sunn Samaadh.
Of course, we are Kal Jugee Jeev (mortals of this age) and we are bound to get lustful thoughts at sometime (some people may not, due to karam) but we must suppress these feelings out of our system. How? Simple. Naam.
In fact, do not fight with the mind, you will end up loosing, recognise what is there (in this case lust) and replace it with Waheguru.
These relationships drain out our spirituality because firstly, it is simply not in the Sikh Rehat Maryaadaa to do such things and secondly we have not done Anand Kaaraj in front of Guru Granth Sahib Jee. So this relationship has not been made ‘parvaan’ or acceptable in the court of the almighty lord Waheguru. There are a lot more things to do in life other than make such worldly entanglements, think about your Parents and repay them for what they have done for you, think about Naam 24 hours 7 days a week and you will fall into love with the greatest thing around, ever and ever.
ਆਦਿ ਸਚੁ ਜੁਗਾਦਿ ਸਚੁ ॥
ਹੈ ਭੀ ਸਚੁ ਨਾਨਕ ਹੋਸੀ ਭੀ ਸਚੁ ॥੧॥
“True In The Primal Beginning. True Throughout The Ages. True Here And Now. O Nanak, Forever And Ever True. ||1||