Modern and Youth Issues

Can I show my love for my girlfirend by us kissing each other? We have no intention for sex. Please help.

—– Kissing & Hugging someone intimately —–

If you wish to kiss your friend’s shoes then fine, but nothing else.

Kissing (especially on the lips) creates a bond that is very similar to sex. The first man a woman kisses this way will be in her mind for the rest of her life. That’s how the female psyche works. She should only be kissing her husband. If you really love her then you won’t do that to her. Kiss her after you are married. If you aren’t getting married, why are you messing with someone else’s (future) wife?

Let me simply say that when a boy and girl start hugging and kissing, they are most likely not going to stop there, and then comes what old folks used to call “petting” and later generations called “making out” and so one thing leads to another, and pretty soon exploring body parts that should be kept private are being investigated, and sure enough — sexual intercourse can take place.

ਨਿਮਖ ਕਾਮ ਸੁਆਦ ਕਾਰਣਿ ਕੋਟਿ ਦਿਨਸ ਦੁਖੁ ਪਾਵਹਿ ॥
ਘਰੀ ਮੁਹਤ ਰੰਗ ਮਾਣਹਿ ਫਿਰਿ ਬਹੁਰਿ ਬਹੁਰਿ ਪਛੁਤਾਵਹਿ ॥੧॥
“For a moment of sexual pleasure, you shall suffer in pain for millions of days. For an instant, you may savour pleasure, but afterwards, you shall regret it, again and again. ||1||”
(Ang 405)

“Don’t play with fire, or you’ll get burned.”

—– Girlfriend & Boyfriend relationships —–

ਦੇਖਿ ਪਰਾਈਆਂ ਚੰਗੀਆਂ ਮਾਵਾਂ ਭੈਣਾਂ ਧੀਆਂ ਜਾਣੈ ॥
“Men should look at the opposite gender as mothers, sisters and daughters, (women should look at the opposite gender as fathers, brothers and sons).”
(Bhai Gurdaas: Vaar 29/ Pauri 11)

Having friends of the opposite gender is fine. However, a Sikh must look at everyone with the respect, dignity and honour of a fellow mother/father, sister/brother, or daughter/son. This is Guru Sahib’s Hukam. If you love the Guru, you will accept and follow what the Guru instructs. If you wish to follow your mind, then you should be prepared to endure the pain, misery, heartache and hell that you will face as a result of your own actions.

ਹੇ ਕਾਮੰ ਨਰਕ ਬਿਸ੍ਰਾਮੰ ਬਹੁ ਜੋਨੀ ਭ੍ਰਮਾਵਣਹ ॥
ਚਿਤ ਹਰਣੰ ਤ੍ਰੈ ਲੋਕ ਗੰਮ੍ਯ੍ਯੰ ਜਪ ਤਪ ਸੀਲ ਬਿਦਾਰਣਹ ॥
ਅਲਪ ਸੁਖ ਅਵਿਤ ਚੰਚਲ ਊਚ ਨੀਚ ਸਮਾਵਣਹ ॥
ਤਵ ਭੈ ਬਿਮੁੰਚਿਤ ਸਾਧ ਸੰਗਮ ਓਟ ਨਾਨਕ ਨਾਰਾਇਣਹ ॥੪੬॥
“O sexual desire, you lead the mortals to hell; you make them wander in reincarnation through countless species. You cheat the consciousness, and pervade the three worlds. You destroy meditation, penance and virtue. But you give only shallow pleasure, while you make the mortals weak and unsteady; you pervade the high and the low. Your fear is dispelled in the Saadh Sangat, the Company of the Holy, O Nanak, through the Protection and Support of the Lord. ||46||”
(Ang 1358)